I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
