oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
