I'm laying in your front yard are you home
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
