Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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