So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
