Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
