Don't make out with my wife yet
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
