Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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