I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
