The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
