i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
