I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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