She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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