Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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