Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
