Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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