i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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