The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
