Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
