His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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