Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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