At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
