the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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