Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
