3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
