i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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