she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize