You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
please come you make the beer taste better
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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