Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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