marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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