there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
