Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize