out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Less talking, more tequila
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
