Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
