i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
