I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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