playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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