Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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