Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
