I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
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