Sry I called you an 8
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
