But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize