Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
