have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
