I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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