I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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