So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
