The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
