I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
