I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
well I can't set my house on fire every night
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize