why didn't you poke me back
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
