Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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