As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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