oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
