We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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