I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
