this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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