You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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