Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
