THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
