I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize