I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
