His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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