I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Two words: blizzard sex
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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