So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
