you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize