Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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