Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
