question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
