This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the day after is always just damage control
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
