Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
