About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize