**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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