Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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