we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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