so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
