Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
