were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
