apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Still dying that you shit outside
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
