Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
